Missing conversations around musicians’ mental health

It’s no secret that our collective mental health has suffered over the last two years due in no small part to our enforced isolation and the constant threat of disease. Musicians have been particularly hard hit, with the revenue streams of live performance and touring drying up overnight and the outlawing of large gatherings rendering choirs, orchestras and ensembles unable to even practice together, let alone record or perform. Add to that the fundamental role played by music-making in musicians’ self-identity and one can understand how musicians’ mental health has been particularly vulnerable under pandemic restrictions. Our screens, filled with infection statistics, climate disasters and the recent Russian invasion of Ukraine have done little to ease the consciousness. As a result, charities, influencers and consumer companies are increasingly extolling the virtues of ‘mindfulness’ and ‘self-care’ with searches for the latter phrase reaching an all-time-high in May 2020.

Advice frequently follows the same framework: get enough sleep, drink enough water, take a bubble bath, all good options for when you’re feeling a bit low, but what does someone with actual lived experience of a mental health issue think? ‘I'm not saying those aren't useful,’ says Hattie Butterworth, cellist and creator of the podcast Things Musicians Don’t Talk About, ‘but I think there just needs to be a greater awareness that actually there's a large percentage of musicians who suffer from very debilitating mental illnesses. That conversation is missing. People understand anxiety because everyone’s felt anxious, people think they understand depression, because everyone’s felt a bit low, but I think what's missing is the awareness that - just like with severe physical illnesses, injuries and accidents - people can suffer with severe mental health problems.’

Butterworth began learning the cello at secondary school, before going on to sixth form at Chetham’s, then attending the Royal College of Music (RCM). At RCM her mental health began to suffer, first with an anxiety disorder and then with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) which was exacerbated by the pandemic. ‘OCD is the one that permeates my day-to-day life, but I have learned to manage it. It’s so confusing because one side of your brain really knows that these fears are irrational, and the other side of your brain can't deal with the doubt. All of that ends up feeling like a full-time job to manage and you end up just feeling so isolated, because putting it into words is very difficult.’

Classical music, whether listened to on its own, as background music for relaxation or even as part of a guided meditation is recommended by proponents of self-care and mindfulness – a google search for ‘guided meditation’ renders 53.2 million results - but who is taking care of the classical musicians behind it all? Naomi Pohl, the Musicians' Union’s newly elected general secretary, spent the first two years of the pandemic as deputy general secretary, dealing directly with musicians suffering during the UK’s many lockdowns. ‘The thing is, when you're talking to people about things like contracts and conditions, sometimes it becomes clear that they’re suffering from some mental health issues. You feel a weight of responsibility. You can help this person with their employment issues, but now essentially, you’re sending them on their way, and you don't know that that person’s going to be OK’

Pohl has seen loneliness - the theme of this year’s Mental Health Awareness Week - affect many union members throughout the pandemic. ‘With musicians, if you’re an orchestral player, you’re used to being with people all the time – that’s how you rehearse, that’s how you perform and you collaborate. All of that vanished and it was incredibly difficult. I think a lot of members have actually lost confidence as well because they've not been performing for such a long period of time.’

While MU partner Music Support offers support to musicians with issues around substance addiction, Pohl didn't have anywhere to direct people who were struggling with mental health issues. Her saving grace came in the form of Music Minds Matter, Help Musicians’ free, 24-hour, dedicated mental health support line and service for the UK music community to which she can refer Union members who are struggling. ‘Having Music Minds Matter has made a big difference for everybody in the industry because it’s somewhere that’s free for musicians to go and get support. It has made a big difference to everybody in the industry.’

The helpline represents a huge improvement in mental health provision in the classical music industry, but a culture shift is still very much needed. Butterworth says that during college ‘I was trying to communicate to people that I was struggling, but the things that they would advise, or my teacher would advise were really not healthy for me. They would suggest that the reason I was depressed is because I’m not working hard enough, or I don't have enough structure, or I don't have enough going on. So I would try these things and burn myself out, and find myself in an even worse place because I worked too hard.’

As the Union’s first female General Secretary, Pohl wants to help with ‘changing the culture of the Union and the industry.’ She says ‘It’s quite a male dominated industry and the trade union movement has traditionally been quite male dominated at the top so I feel that I can bring something new being first female general secretary.’ She is also passionate about easing the external factors which are affecting members’ mental health. ‘We need to make sure that our members get a decent pay rise and I also want to look at conditions, at how musicians are treated across the various sectors. It's going to be a long-term project, but I've got five years in the role.’

There is also a willingness to change our collective mindset, and the classical music industry is proving receptive to open conversations around mental health. When a second mental health episode caused Butterworth to take a three-month hiatus from her podcast, she received an outpouring of support. ‘I just had so many messages from people saying, “are you alright? Please don't stop, we love this, we really love this”’ and following this dormant period, the podcast was Highly Commended at the Digital Classical Music Awards. Butterworth was ‘dragged back onto the podcasting stage to do it, and I'm so glad that I was dragged by the people that dragged me because it really lifted me up again and has been the most important thing in my life.’

Following this success, Butterworth has had an eventful year, having spent nine months in a convent, she moved to London in January and has stepped away from performing to take up a role with Schott Music. She reports that she’s now in ‘a really good place’, helped in part by the research she has been conducting into musicians who have struggled in the same way as she has. ‘I think a lot of it is uncovering and realizing that there have been musicians who've struggled, but I'm realizing more and more how those struggles were hidden and they were made to feel ashamed of what they were going through. It's clear that musicians have not been taken seriously and from my research I'm also realizing a big part of my own healing is apologizing to the musicians of the past that we let down’.

And what advice does Butterworth offer to musicians of the present and future? ‘I would say the most healing thing for me has been to address the feelings of shame that I've had around suffering. I also take medication and it's different for everybody, but for me that has been the thing that's meant that I can live my life again.’ And most importantly, she adds, ‘just know you're not alone.’

Music Support is a registered charity providing help and support for those who work in UK music and live events affected by mental ill-health and/or addiction.  You can find out more here.

Music Minds Matter is Help Musicians' dedicated mental health support line and service for the whole UK music community. It is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week online and on 0808 802 8008.

Help Musicians is a UK charity offering support for professional musicians of all genres and all stages of their career. You can find out more here.